This is an actual example of a conversation that frequently takes place in our home.
Jr, “Dad. Am I born?”
Dad, “Pardon me son?”
Jr, “Born, am I born?’
Dad’s Brain, “Hmmmmmm…”
Dad’s mouth, “Sure son. You’re born.”
Jr’s mouth, “hmmmmmmm.”
Jr, “ Dad?”
Dad, “Yes, buddy.”
Jr, “Am I still born?”
Dad, “ Hmmm…yes son you’re alive. I guess that means you’re still born.”
Jr “How about now?”
Dad, “Yes Jr if you’re alive then you’ve been born. Are you thinking and breathing?”
Dad, “Then you’ve been born.”
Dad, “Yes son.”
Jr, “Are you born?”
Dad, “Yes, Jr I’m born too.”
Jr, “How about now?”
Dad, “Yes buddy I’m still born.”
Jr, “Are we both born?”
Dad, “If we are both breathing and thinking then we’ve been born.”
Jr, “MOMMY. MOMMY!!! Guess what? Daddy and I are still both born again!!!”
Another example of a recent conversation went like this.
Dad, “Come along buddy. It’s time to go. Grab your (stuffed) guys if you want to bring them along.”
Jr, “Okay got them.” Then off he goes in every direction (both physically and emotionally) on his way to the car.
Jr, “Dad can I bring Humphrey and Blue (the stuffed guys) into violin with me?”
Dad, “Yes but only if they stay with me when you’re playing and only if they behave (because being tossed up and down while pestering others isn’t behaving for stuffed animals at violin).”
Jr, “Yes okay.”
Jr interrupting mom before she gets the chance to roll on the lecture, “Yes mom they’ll behave. They’re not real you know!”
Mom, “ .” Followed by laughter.
Dad laughs too!
How about this one;
Dad, “Be careful.”
Jr, “I will. I am always careful when standing on chairs.”
Then there is this;
“Daddy, Honey Bear is calling you!!”
Then there are the logical conversations that stop you in your tracks.
Jr, “THE CAT IS EATING MY FOOD!!”
Dad, “Then stop feeding her.”
Jr, deadpanning, “Right.”
I often here this when energy levels are high.
Jr, “My legs are wiggly, woggly.”
Then there is the opposite when we are stuck doing things that we might not want to.
Jr drawing a picture with his words, “IIIIIIIIIIIIII’m tired. My legs are sooooooooooooo sleepy.” All while mimicking falling asleep whilst still standing.”
Today I heard this from Jr. “My brain is dirty.”
These ones are standard.
Dad (often after a big long parental monologue, “What did I just say.”
Jr, “I don’t know.”
Dad, “Why did you just do that (thing that you know you shouldn’t have been doing)?”
Jr hoping that he has the right answer, “because I did?”
There are also the sweet conversations that make life as a parent so worthwhile.
Dad, “What is it son?”
Jr, “Dad…dad I want to give love.”
Dad, “What’s that son.”
Jr, “Give love. Dad I want to give love. You know? Give love like hugs and pisses (kisses).”
And this one is my absolute favorite.
Dad, “Goodnight buddy. I love you. Pleasant dreams”
Jr, “Night daddy. I love you too. Pleasant dreams too!”
Dad with a hug, “Ahh thanks pal. You’re the best little boy ever.”
Jr, “You’re the best DAD ever too!”
Peace and love all.
Remember over this busy, festive holiday season it’s okay to abide but please drink responsibly and make sure you’re always able to be a good role model in front of the little ones. And if you’re driving, arrive alive. Never drink and drive.